"Commander Milliardo. We have reports that Treize Kushrenada has launched a counter attack to our Libra battle station. He has several thousand armed mobile suits with him and is heading this way." Quinze pointed at the view screen to indicate what he was talking about. Several red enemy dots were blinking as they slowly moved towards the big white spot that represented Libra on the grid. But Milliardo only gave it a brief glance. His mind seemed far away at the moment and the white-haired ex-leader of the White Fang regarded him curiously. "Commander?" When he still didn't say anything, Quinze looked at the ever present Dorothy who hovered by his elbow for help.
"Deploy the dolls. I'll make sure that nothing gets through," she said. Placing her hand on her leader's arm she gave him a gentle shake. "Is that all right with you, Mister Milliardo?" Zechs blinked and looked at her, his eyes strangely distant.
"We still have some time before they get here. I'll be in my quarters. Alert me when they arrive." So saying, Zechs got up and used the chair to help him float gracefully to the door and out. Dorothy watched him go, a slightly puzzled look on her face. Quinze couldn't believe what he had just seen.
"What's the matter with him?" he demanded of the blond young woman. Dorothy suddenly smiled and tossed her hair. She clasped her hands together in awe and admiration and stared at the ceiling in a reverent way.
"Isn't he simply wonderful? How like a true soldier to want to prepare his mind for the glorious fight to come. He must be thinking of his strategy against Mister Trieze and that's why he's so preoccupied. Oh, this will truly be the war to end all wars!"

***********************************************************************************************

The door to my chambers lock behind me as I step through. The gravity system engages and my body suddenly feels a whole lot heavier. But my body isn't the only thing. My mind and heart are weighed down as well. Striding to a couch that I placed in front of the giant bay window that looks out into space, I sit in the near darkness and regarded the stars. "Trieze," I whisper, "don't come here. Stay away. Please, stay far, far away from me." Leaning my head onto the back of the couch, I close my eyes. Such thoughts are weak and I despise myself for having them. How can I be the leader of a war when all I want to do is find the one person I love and hold him tightly in my arms, never to let go? It's ridiculous, really, to think this way. Treize made his choice and I have made mine. There can be no turning back. The road to ultimate pacifism is a long and hard one but I know that I can accomplish my ideals if I can eliminate this pathetic, emotional side of myself.

For all those times you stood by me

And yet, it's so hard to let you go. We've been through so much together. I always thought that when this was over, you and I would stand on the balcony of the palace in Sanc and drink sherry while regaling each other with tales of our prowess in battle.

For all the truth that you made me see

I remember that one time, back when you and I ran the SPECIALS, when I asked you who we could trust in life. It was a random question at the time. I had been speaking of the people in the army with us and the higher-ups for whom we played the subservient soldiers. You told me that instinct will guide a person more then anything else, especially when it is a gut feeling. You asked me if I thought I could trust you and I had answered that I thought I could. You smiled at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. You told me that you were honored to have such trust placed in you and that you returned the feeling wholeheartedly.

For all the joy you brought to my life

The was the morning before the first time we made love. The day had been trying for both of us, what with the reports of Gundams being on Earth and the UESA howling at us to do something about it. I'll never forget how you just happened to bump into me and how we just happened to fall onto the soft grass of your estate in Kiev, your body covering mine as you shaded me from the sun. Every touch of your fingers exploring my body felt like small jolts of lightning surging through me. The skillful way you played me, teased me into erection and kept me there for two agonizing hours was sheer mastery of the erotic arts. No one has ever made me ache for them as I have longed for you. At night I fall asleep while pretending to be in your arms and I know that on more then one occasion, I have reached out to hold you only to find I have been dreaming yet again. It hurts to want you this much and to know it will never be, not anymore, not after this.

For all the wrongs that you made right

You always seemed to pull me back from the abyss, right when my courage would start to fail me or when my resolve began to weaken. It's so hard to survive without you. There is so much killing. I hate it, but I must do whatever is necessary to get my point across. Aren't those the same words you spoke to me when we were forced to wipe out an entire colony for the UESA? You held me close and soothed my shivering body. You told me that things would get better when we took over.

For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, Baby

And things were better. I was able to finally fulfill my driving goal by destroying the murderers of my family, of my home. You let me take you, hard, in celebration of our victory and you never once said a word as I cried with my head on your shoulder as I finally grieved the loss of the Sanc Kingdom. You rocked me and held me till the storm had passed before kissing away my tears. That night, when the nightmares came from lack of sleep, you cleaned my fevered brow with a cool, wet cloth and whispered words of comfort. You never spoke of your love for me, but it was every day implied. With every look, every gesture, each smile and twinkle in your eyes, I knew how you felt. Your love and friendship were the starlight in my dark existence and I cannot begin to express my thanks.

You're the one who held me up
And never let me fall

Your love kept me sane. So many times I wanted to give in and buckle under. Sometimes the pressure was too much. So many lives were wasted on my account. You held me together and kept my fingers away from the self detonation button. You wouldn't let me give up. You said that we both had too much life left to live for it to end that way. You said that if I died, you would join me. I couldn't kill myself, not when I knew you would follow me. I told you that I wanted you to live, no matter what path my destiny chose to take. You agreed and we sealed the pact with a kiss, just like in stories of olden days. I can never tell you how much that meant to me at the time, or how much it still does. Oh, Trieze, my proud and elegant friend...You promised me you would survive this war. Tell me why you are trying to kill yourself now?

You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

I will destroy you. There must be no doubt about that. As much as I care for you, this is one endeavor in which I must not fail. You of all people should know that I will not back down from this. You said yourself that you know you can depend on me because warriors like myself never lose. You have been there for me in all things and now you turn your back on all that to oppose me. Does it hurt to look at my face as I speak to the masses on your viewscreen? Do you look at my picture and feel empty inside? I wanted us to be together at the end of this, Trieze.

You were my strength when I was weak

Everything I have done, I did it for us, for our mutual dream of total pacifism. I thought you were behind me in this. When I needed courage, I had only to think of you.

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

When I needed words, yours would come back to me, as clear and as real as if you were speaking them to me again for the first time. You always manage to inspire me, even when we are a million miles apart, both in physical form and ideals.

You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

And yet, despite how different we two have become, I cannot forget that it was you who showed me passion for the first time. It was you who taught me it was okay to feel again. When I thought my emotions were buried so deep that they could never be revived, you broke down the blood stained man who was Zechs Merquise and withdrew from his shell the man known as Milliardo Peacecraft. Your love awakened my desire and through your gentle guidance, you brought me to love not only myself but you as well. I thought there was nothing good within myself worth redeeming. I was, and possibly still am, not worthy of the name Peacecraft. But instead of letting me sink deeper into the depression that was slowly eating at me, you threw a lifeline into the quicksand and braved the peril yourself to drag me out. Your trust and friendship guided me around pitfalls and setbacks that would have doubtlessly sent me spiraling back into the abyss.

Lifted me up when I couldn't see
You gave me faith 'cause you believed

No matter what the obstacle, I always knew that we'd come out on top. I have always admired you for your nobility, your cunning. I have never doubted in your abilities, just as you have never doubted in mine. You always seemed so sure of yourself, as if the entire world ran according to your master design. There were times when I was half sure that they did. You are only one man, and yet you stand as a king on top of the world, a person who makes history in his hands. There were times when I wondered if what we were doing was the correct choice of action. All it took was one look at your composed expression, your elegant, self-assured stance and I would feel my resolve solidify once again. I was lost in the world that was you, Trieze. I believed in you, in us, in our dream.

I'm everything I am because you loved me

But now I cannot believe in you. Our dreams are different, our goals have gone their separate ways. We are two comets about to collide head on. One of us will be extinguished in a bright blaze of glory and only time will tell which one of us comes out of this more or less intact. Do you feel as betrayed as I do? You loved me, Trieze. I know you did. You are forcing my hand, and that is one thing I will not abide. You wish this war to end and your precious Earth to be spared the horror. It is too late for that, my dearest friend. The people of space have suffered enough because of that miserable little hunk of rock. Now it is their turn to have their revenge. You are the one who said that there is a time and a place for raw, hot emotion and a time for a cool headed, murderous spirit. Which one are you feeling right now as you rush towards this confrontation?

You gave me wings and made me fly

Was Epyon your final gift to me, I wonder? Or was it a warning? I know that you gave the Gundam to Heero Yuy first. Did you foresee that one day it would fall into my hands? Of course you did. That must have been one of the destinies that Epyon showed to you. But if that's the case, surely you must have known what a weapon like that would become once it fell into my hands. A machine that shows the user his future cannot be a present of sentimental value. What did you want me to see when I sit in the cockpit? Surely it can't be the same vision as it showed to you. Your death is all Epyon would show me if I were to fight you now. I don't want you to die, Trieze. As funny as it may seem, I still love you, even through all this. Whatever the reason you had to create the Gundam, I care not. The fact remains that it is mine now, my personal weapon of destruction that only I can pilot without losing to the feared Zero system.

You touched my hand, I could touch the sky

For the first time in my life I can truly say I'm free. You opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me with Epyon. I don't know if that was what you intended, but there you have it. Being with you made all the hardships we had gone through worth while. The rewards were greater then the pain, I think. I wonder if I made you as happy as you made me? Was I the fire in your eyes when you spoke so eloquently to the officials of the UESA or Romefeller? Was I the desire that kept you awake in the night, erect and yearning for the whisper of lips on the inside of your thighs or a firm squeeze in the right places? Only you could bring me to dizzying heights on a spiral of pleasure. Your skilled tongue wrapping around me, the fingers that deftly prepared me for your oh so welcome invasion...But these thoughts pale in light of the conversations we had when there wasn't enough time for anything else or when distance kept us apart.

I lost my faith, You gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach

I remember that cold winter night when the two of us held each other beneath the warm quilts that had been piled on your bed. Candles had been placed throughout the room and they had burned down to tiny wisps of flame struggling to survive in an encroaching darkness. I said they reminded me of the stars. With my head on your chest and your fingers in my hair, I felt so safe. I felt like I was drifting on warm air. It was my last night on Earth before I went back into space to crush another rebel faction in the name of OZ. I asked you if you thought anyone had been too all the stars yet. I was drunk at the time, half from the spiced wine we'd been sipping all night, half on the afterglow of our lovemaking. You smiled and rained kisses on my hair. You said that you seriously doubted it, but if anyone could do it, you had the utmost faith in me. You pulled my head back for a deep, soul-searing kiss that left me aroused all over again. As you flipped me onto my back and spread my legs, you remarked how lovely you thought I was. The light of the candles was glistening on my hair, making it shine in the dimness like the Milky Way. We made love again, our moans and low cries punctuating each of your deep thrusts. You chanted my name like a benediction and as we reached our peak together, you called me your stardust soldier, your eternal friend and champion of the stars. How prophetic of you to have foreseen this, even then.

You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me

I have always hated the times when we were apart. I know it couldn't be avoided. We both had our duties to see to. You had your political meetings and I had my troops. I used Noin to fill the empty hours when I wished I could be with you. I gave the poor woman a mistaken idea that I was in love with her. I never wished that. Please do not think I was unfaithful to you, for that was never an issue with me. No, my thoughts have always remained true to you and you alone. All the stolen moments, the brief touches in passing, the leave days when we spent hours doing nothing but reacquainting ourselves with each other...I wouldn't have traded those all too brief times for a lifetime with anyone else.

Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

For all my sins, there must be some God who took pity on me and allowed me a small taste of what true happiness can be like with the one you love who loves you in return.

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me

That one time when I dropped from overwork, you made sure I had the best of doctors. Even after the episode with Tallgeese that very nearly caused my heart to rupture, you told the surgeons to take extra special care of me. You called to check on my condition every day till I was discharged and then gave me leave to come visit you. You laughed when I growled at your fussing. You said it felt nice to do something for someone else for a change. You had the cooks prepare my favorite dishes, serve my favorite deserts, turn down and heat the bed the way I like it, and you even bought a bottle of Wild Turkey, even though I know you can't stand the stuff yourself.

A light in the dark
Shining your love into my life

And that night, you came to me. You pulled the covers to the foot of the bed and carefully straddled my hips. In your hands was a bottle of massage oil which you proceeded to work into my still sore muscles. You quietly told me of the progress our plans had taken and how good it was to see me back on my feet. No matter what, you were always the gentleman. But I could tell that you were merely trying to confirm, at least in your own mind, that I wasn't about to die on the spot, that it was my very own flesh and blood beneath your hands and not the hard wood of a coffin lid.

You've been my inspiration

I never forgot the kindness and compassion you showed me during that time with you and my only regret is that I was never able to return it as I would have wished.

Through the lies you were the truth

But no matter what Romefeller said or did, I always knew I had you to watch my back. You are a soldier and a gentleman above all else. I think that's why we worked so well together. We understood each other and the force that drove us. Even now, I understand what you're trying to do with this attack on Libra. You're hoping for the grand battle, the white knight against the red, Epyon versus the Tallgeese II. Oh, yes. I know you have reconstructed that one. I understand how it functions and thinks perhaps even better then you do. It is, after all, based off the original design which I used so long ago.

My world is a better place because of you!

I know I shall never get the chance to tell you these musings out loud. It's far too late for reconciliation. But before the final battle, I just want to tell you "thank you" for all the things you've given me. Without you, I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I would have probably died at the hands of Heero Yuy while feeling unfulfilled and never knowing the reason why. Without you to point out my weaknesses, I couldn't be this strong or have the guts to do what I am about to do. I'm glad to have known you, Trieze, never doubt that for a moment, not even when you go to your final rest as we all surely must one day. You are and always will be my eternal friend, my eternal love.

***************************************************************************************************

I'm everything I am because you loved me

"Mister Milliardo," Dorothy's voice came over the comm. "We have Mister Treize on the screen. He is requesting to speak with you." Zechs rose from his seat, smoothed the wrinkles out of his uniform and trench coat, and made sure his hair was in perfect order.
"I'll be right there." Getting to his feet he strode out into the hall and was glad no one could see how he nearly stumbled when the weightlessness of low gravity made his body lift momentarily from the floor. He bounced as gracefully as he could into the control room and hopped into his chair, ignoring Quinze's questioning glance and Dorothy's sigh of adoration. "Put him on the viewscreen."
When Trieze's face appeared, it took all of Milliardo's strength not to choke. There were dark circles under Trieze's eyes and his skin looked more pale then he remembered. But there was determination in his eyes as he issued the challenge. He wanted a duel to decide the fate of both Earth and the colonies. This in no way took Zechs by surprise. It was his old friend's way. They understood each other well enough to know what the outcome of this meeting would be. Treize was asking permission to die. It was in his face, lurked under his words, pulsed in his eyes that were brittle with unshed tears that lurked just under the surface.

Ohhh, I'm everything I am...

"You must realize, that your decision here reflects the course you plan to take in this war," Trieze offered. Zechs closed his eyes, apparently lost deep in thought. It hurt to hear him beg. It hurt to imagine a world of peace that Trieze would never see. Zechs opened his eyes and looked into Trieze's. Is this really what you want?
Trieze's eyes drilled into his, unafraid. Zechs drew in a breath. One word from him could stop the war. One word would reunite him with the man he loved more then his own life. Everything was in place, the scales of balance were even. One word, just one word...
"Commander?"
Zechs lifted his head and set his jaw. Whatever it takes... "No. I refuse to settle this war on something as insignificant as a duel."
Trieze took one last look at his former lover turned enemy and switched off the view screen. Zechs blinked swiftly and pushed the young gunner out of the way. He'd do this himself. He owed his friend that much. Dorothy grabbed his arm, pleading for him to stop but he shook her off, stabbing his forefinger onto the red button. Libra shook as the cannon discharged a blast of white light. Everything has a price, Trieze. I just wish yours didn't have to be so high... The white beam was dead on target.

Because you loved me.



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