Faraway Dawn
By Esmerelda
Based on the song “Faraway Dawn”, composed
and arranged by Hogari Hisaaki, sung by Koyasu Takehito.
Author’s note: Note that “Faraway
Dawn” is Zechs Merquise’s character song for Gundam Wing. Fitting, no?
^_^ Enjoy!
The few memories
Lingering in my heart
Like fragments of a song
Hang onto yesterday
“Treize would have loved this view…” Zechs murmured softly, fighting back
tears. What had it been… five, six long
months? Was it really that long since Treize
died so violently at the hands of that Gundam pilot Chang Wufei? “Oh, Treize.. wasn’t it just yesterday? Yesterday, you had your arms around me, and you
were whispering to me… that after the war we would go so far away and have a true
vacation… where no one would disturb us? Your
eyes glimmered with so mischievously… and then…” And then you made love to me. So passionate and fierce, I forgot about that
goddamned war all night. We were up through
the night, exploring each other over and over… and the next morning, Une warned you
that a lack of sleep was fatal to a commanding officer such as yourself… was she
right? Did you lose sleep the night before
you were killed? Were you looking back on your life like I was looking back on mine? Did you remember everything I said when I left OZ? Is that why you lost your concentration at a
crucial moment and attacked blindly? You knew
I blamed you, Treize… but that was just rash thinking on my part. I never meant to… never meant to… oh,
Treize… Zechs’s eyes welled up
with anguished tears as he stood up and brushed the bits of grass off of his damp clothes,
turning to walk back to his cottage.
The lonely traveler wanders
Zechs tried to shake the memories
from his mind as he began the slow walk toward his cottage, being careful not to slip on
the slick grass. “I need to stop living
in the past… there is nothing left there for me,” he murmured to no one, trying
to pick the blades of grass out of his hair as he walked.
Zechs gingerly stepped onto the cobblestone path leading to his cottage,
trying to keep from losing his footing on the wet stones.
The house was isolated, the only structure for a mile or so. His only contact with the outside world lay in the
dirt road that eventually led into a paved road, which eventually led to a town, but that
town was shrouded in a dense forest. Here,
Zechs was truly blissfully alone. He had
brought Treize here on more than one occasion… he smiled as he reached the door to
his cottage, remembering those beautiful nights spent in this very home, how Zechs
screamed Treize’s name over and over, moaning with delight as Treize pleasured him
beyond comprehension…
Zechs shook his head violently as
he turned the knob to the front door, attempting to clear his mind. He stepped inside his cottage and closed the door
behind him, flipping on a light switch. The
living room was neat and tidy as always, decorated in the blue hues that he and Treize
both loved. Zechs took off his long black boots and began to walk off to the bathroom to
take a quick shower before he allowed himself to rest.
He slipped out of his loose garments easily, and, taking a pale towel from
the linen closet, soothed his muscles with a scalding hot shower, watching his own skin
turn pink from the heat, gazing at the soap that ran down his body with the water, pooling
at his feet before rushing down the dark depths of the drain like souls to the afterlife,
never to be seen again.
You whose heart screams
Whose eyes stare Who are you
Seal away those dreams and just fight
Faraway dawn
Laying in the masses of sheets in his large bed, Zechs
stared out the large window in his bedroom, gazing at the stars through the glass barrier. Why won’t it stop hurting? Why can’t I accept the fact that I’ll
never hold you in my arms… never kiss your lips… never run my fingers through
your hair while you sleep? You’re
scattered throughout the system, yet I feel like you’re right here, watching me,
staring at me, calling to me even though you know I can’t hear you. You’re here, aren’t you? You’re next to me, waiting for me to
acknowledge your presence. I know you’re
here, but I can’t do anything, Treize. I
can’t hold you. I can’t even see you. It
must be lonely in the afterlife, wandering the universe with your lover still confined to
this existence…
Enough. Zechs squeezed his eyes shut, blocking the
oncoming flood of tears. He knew that his
dreams would be plagued with memories of Treize tonight.
Zechs sighed. Let the
dreams come. I should be able to handle them,
shouldn’t I? I’m a soldier. I’ve been trained to ignore my emotions when
they could interfere with how I lived my life. But
even so… why does my training fail me now, when I need it the most? Damn you, Treize.
Damn you for dying. Damn Wufei
for killing you. Damn the colonies for
rebelling against the Earth. Damn the Earth
for even having colonies. Damn the people who
populate the Earth. Damn myself for taking part in this whole madness. That’s right, God, Spirits, whoever really
rules the universe. Damn me. Damn Zechs Merquise, Milliard Peacecraft, whoever
the hell I am. Damn me for having the
bloodiest hands. Damn… just damn
everything. I don’t even care anymore.
Forgotten is the true face
Beneath this mask
Like the endless darkness
That engulfs everything
“Oh God!”
Zechs moaned in pleasure as he felt
Treize thrusting inside of him, entwining his fingers in Zechs’s damp hair, rubbing
up against his throbbing manhood… How
good it felt! He couldn’t help but give
in to the moment, forgetting his normally cold exterior when his superiors and his
subordinates surrounded him. There was no one
here to judge his decorum. No one but Treize. Zechs smiled as that realization bloomed across
the passionate haze in his mind. It’s
not like Treize could judge my actions when he’s wrapped up in the same madness as I.
“Mmm, Zechs… You’re
beautiful… so beautiful… like an angel…” Treize breathed, his face
flushed with desire as he continued to slide in and out of Zechs’s opening. Zechs could only moan in reply. Felt so good… like Treize had destroyed every
emotion but bliss.
“Treize…” Zechs
tried his best to bring his moans to at least resemble actual sounds, but the only words
he could squeeze out… “Oh Treize! Never
stop! Never… ever stop!”
The world exploded around the two
lovers as Treize’s seed flowed into Zechs, as Zechs screamed as he came, pulling
Treize close in a tight embrace. The two men
kissed ferociously afterwards, neither wanting to let go of the other. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, both
men disheveled and drenched with sweat and semen… but they didn’t care. All that mattered was the night, how it blanketed
the two lovers so gently… Beautiful…
calm night. The future was a speck on the
horizon, the past was a stone deep in the ocean. The
present- the darkness of the night- was all that mattered.
The morning embraced by peace
The color of blood that flows in fighters
The first bloody rays of the rising
sun jerked Zechs from deep slumber. Even
before he peeled the sheets away from his body, he knew that his body had been tricked
into believing that Treize was still there, stroking him, kissing him, nibbling on
him… oh god, how Zechs longed for that touch again!
Without bothering to confirm his suspicions, Zechs
rolled out from under his sheets and pulled off his boxers, immediately throwing them into
the empty hamper by his door. Ah,
Treize… you have won another battle in my mind.
So far, that makes a countless victory for you, a countless defeat for me. I’ll never move into the future, not while
the past still has you.
Zechs smiled softly and changed into slacks and a matching navy blue blazer. Today, he would go into town. The solitude was beginning to eat at his mind. After a tasteless breakfast of tea and toast, he
pulled on a pair of boots and climbed into his car- a white convertible, a replica of the
automobiles of the times before the colonies, and kicked up a large cloud of dust as he
drove off toward the town.
You who search
For the future no one knows Who are you
Blue flames tinge the sky
Faraway dawn
It was when he was driving that
Zechs often thought about the war. Lady Une,
Lieutenant Noin… both were somewhere in the universe.
Probably trying to get their minds away from the war and toward the bright
future of peace. As for the Gundam
pilots… Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and even that damned Wufei… oh how Zechs
resented him for what he did to Treize! They
were most likely at their respective homes, trying to lead normal teenage lives. Zechs shook his head as he sped down the dirt
road. Would they ever fight again? Once his enemies, now they were just five more
people to think about. And Relena… his
dear sister. Was she enjoying her newfound
status as a political leader? The royal life
wasn’t for Zechs. He knew it deep within
him, even though he was the rightful heir to the Sank kingdom, he would never be able to
rule it. He just prayed to God that Relena
would.
A sudden uneasiness in the pit of
his stomach forced Zechs to pull over on the side of the dirt road. Someone was in the car, watching him… or
following him… He immediately stepped out of the car and began to examine it, opening
the trunk and searching around for anything- anything other than the tennis rackets and
athletic equipment he normally carried in there. No
one was in the backseat, and there wasn’t another car to be seen. Suddenly, Zechs’s hands brushed over a
familiar surface. Grasping it firmly, he
pulled it out of the mess, making a mental note to clean the trunk someday. Looking at the object he had just removed, Zechs
suddenly gasped. That sapphire frame, the
taut blue strings, the jet-black handle… it was just a tennis racket, but the name so
lovingly engraved on the frame… Treize Kushrenada.
Holding on to an unfulfilled wish
I travel high above the lonely sky
“You’ve improved,
Merquise, but you’ll never defeat me!”
Zechs grunted as he returned a
screaming serve from Treize. The fuzzy yellow
ball rocketed from one end of the isolated tennis court to the other, becoming nothing but
a blur in both men’s eyes. Treize let
out a whoosh of air as he swung his arm in a crushing backhand, sending the ball flying
out of bounds.
“Losing your concentration,
Kushrenada?” Zechs taunted, tossing his long, braided white gold hair behind his
shoulder as he trotted to retrieve the ball. Treize
smirked as he pushed a lock of auburn hair out of his eyes.
“Just thought I’d give
you a chance to serve, since you’ve been losing to me all day,” he shouted
pointedly. Zechs chased the still rolling
ball and picked it up, turning it in his hand. Who
cared if he lost? Who was he to ignore the
benefits of a day of tennis? He quickly took
his place on his side of the court and prepared for the deadliest serve Treize had ever
seen.
“You do know I have the
advantage, don’t you, Treize?” Zechs suddenly called, pausing before he served. Treize smirked.
“Tell you what. If this serve is a beautiful ace, we’ll stop
and do something more interesting. I’m
sure you’re tired of losing.”
Zechs smiled as he raised his
crimson racket. “Deal.” He then served the ball, an agonizingly shoddy
serve that wobbled before landing in Treize’s court.
Zechs rocked back on his heels, waiting for the return, but Treize stayed
planted in his spot, letting the ball pass him and roll harmlessly to the other wall.
“That was the worst serve
I’ve ever seen, but it won you the game,” Treize laughed, setting his racket on
the ground and straightening his white polo shirt. Zechs
could only gape in horrified amazement.
“You did that on
purpose!” he gasped. Treize rolled his
eyes.
“Really, now?” He calmly sauntered around the net and toward his
opponent until they were nearly nose to nose. Zechs
sucked in a deep breath as he stared into those sapphire depths of Treize’s eyes. It was obvious why Treize missed that horrible
serve. Zechs’s suspicions were confirmed
when the older man pressed his face to Zechs’s, kissing ferociously.
“T-Treize!” Zechs
squeaked, his arms involuntarily going around Treize’s neck. “Right here?”
“Yes, right here,” Treize
insisted, pushing Zechs’s tank top over his head.
Zechs moaned with pleasure as Treize began to push him down… down on
the warm court. Clothes were taken off in a
great hurry, and as the two men made love, there was no one around to hear their cries of
pleasure.
-
Zechs choked slightly, putting the racket back in the monstrous mess in the trunk, still reeling from the vivid flashback. What’s happening to me…?
Treize… you’re there, aren’t you? I feel it again. The sky is as blue as your uniform. You’re all around me. One day, you’ll come down to earth with those new angel wings of yours, and you’ll show them off with pride that you were once forced to hold back in the depths of your heart. You called me an angel, but who’s the angel now? Not I.
You whose heart screams
Whose eyes stare Who are you
Seal away those dreams and just fight
Faraway dawn
The town was strangely noisy, with
street vendors to the left and exquisite caf�s to the right, all of them bustling with
people. Zechs smiled at the atmosphere. It was just the thing to make him forget about
everything that had happened in the past six months… hell, the past year.
No one here knew who he was. None of his acquaintances knew that he was even on
Earth. Not Une, not Noin, not Relena, not
even the Gundam pilots. For all they knew, he
was lost in space, the final casualty of the most recent war.
He eagerly took a seat at an
outdoor caf� and, ordering a cup of cappuccino, basked in the late morning sunlight. The hustle and bustle of small town life… how
he missed it!
“Sir? Would you like anything else?”
Zechs looked up at the waiter, who
was setting down the cappuccino. He fished
in his wallet for a bill of some sort, and held it out to the waiter. “I’m fine, thank you. Keep the change.”
The waiter’s eyes widened in
bewilderment. “But sir… this is
a…”
“I’m aware of the amount. Keep it.”
“Y-yes sir. Thank you very much, sir!” the waiter
chirped, rushing to help another one of his customers.
Zechs sighed and began to sip the bittersweet taste of the drink, becoming
increasingly aware of a pair of sapphire eyes trained on his every move. Zechs turned to face the owner of those large
eyes, and gasped. He was nothing more than an
infant. A small infant in a high chair,
grinning as he kept his eyes on Zechs, drooling as he chomped down on a zwieback cracker. Zechs smiled in amusement as the baby pointed,
burbling happily as it blew a raspberry, sending his mother into frantic attempts to wipe
the baby’s chin before he made a large mess.
Just a baby… but the intensity
in those sapphire eyes… Zechs had only seen them in one person. Treize. Every
time they would kiss, those eyes would glow with that exact same intensity… And were those baby’s eyebrows slightly
forked at the ends? Like Treize’s? Zechs quickly downed the last of his cappuccino
and walked over to the baby’s table.
“Madam?” Zechs asked,
politely tapping the young woman on the shoulder. She
quickly whirled around, her pretty face already lined with the frustrations of being a
parent.
“Is there a problem,
sir?” she asked breathlessly as her baby cooed, pounding his chubby hands on the
table of his high chair.
“No… no
problem…” Zechs murmured. “I
was just going to say… your baby looks like he will become a fine man someday. I don’t know what compelled me to come over
here and disturb you just to say that, but…” he trailed off. The woman smiled kindly as her emerald eyes fixed
upon Zechs’s steely ice orbs.
“Thank you… you’re
kind to say that, sir.”
Zechs drew in a deep breath,
feeling his cheeks flush. All this nonsense
over a small baby? “I should be going
now. Good day.” With a slight bow, he turned and began to walk
away, the mother staring after him in bewilderment. What
had come over me? Why did I behave in this
manner? Walking
back to his car, he quickly decided that he had spent enough time in the town. Even a meager half hour was enough to satisfy his
need for the company of a multitude of strangers, each meeting his gaze for no more than a
second before vanishing forever.
The sun was reaching its peak as he
drove off to the solitude of his cottage in the calm meadow.
You who search
For the future no one knows Who are you
Blue flames tinge the sky
Faraway dawn
Zechs gazed at the lingering sunset; watched it disappear over the low hills to allow the night to hold its vigil over the sleeping children of the world. Dawn was a long way off… the night may have protected the children, but it tortured Zechs. Tortured him with memories of the war, of the senseless violence, of Treize… Every time it descended upon the Swiss landscape, it haunted him. Please... let dawn come soon!
Zechs sighed. Fearing the night wasn’t going to make it go away any faster. He sat down on his front steps and began to watch each star appear, one by one. I may have found you again, Treize, then again, maybe I haven’t. Who is to say? Have you been born again as that baby in the caf�, or are you still up there, watching my every move? What if you are that child? In ten, fifteen years, will you remember me? Will you see my aged face and remember the life you had with me before it was brought to a bitter end? What if… what if you never remember me, and in my old age, I only remember your name and your significance, but never the sweet memories we share? What if you’re still out there, waiting for me, waiting for me to join you wherever you are so we could travel the universe together in search of whatever our hearts desire? What if you’re perfectly content to spend an eternity without me? Who’s to say I’m fit to join you?
A great emptiness filled
Zechs’s heart. As much as he wanted to
move on with his life, the thought of leaving those precious memories behind frightened
him beyond belief. The sun vanished, leaving
behind the quickly darkening sky. Zechs
stared up at the rapidly appearing stars from his front steps, and as each one glimmered
like tears dropped by an angel, Zechs did something he hadn’t done since he was a
child. He buried his face in his hands and
wept.